Well, hello there!
I know it has been a while. It was my intention to make this grand birthday blog post last week and then when that didn’t happen, I said I’d blog something sentimental for Christmas. Clearly neither of those things happened, because, well… life.
But it’s still important to me to use this time of year to reflect, rest, and reset. Every year on my birthday, I write a letter to myself. Most of the time the letters are full of grand promises and apologies for my perceived failures. This year, I’m taking a different approach. This year’s letter is to all of us. Ya know, Jewel to Jewel.
BE GOOD TO YOURSELF. Don’t even focus on where you got it wrong. You have been busy surviving the world in its current state and well … that’s a lot. So let go of the notion that you have to keep apologizing and explaining yourself when there is inconsistency. Stop pressuring yourself to be perfect. Give yourself some grace. I know you’ve been feeling a little heavy; I’ve been feeling it too. But what I’ve come to realize is some of that heaviness is for the things you refuse to forgive yourself for.
Like the time you settled for half love, or the time you tried and failed -- even the time you didn’t try and failed.
Listen, it happens to the best of us. It’s life, it’s how we learn, it’s what cultivates our testimonies. This year, if you don’t promise anything else, promise to love yourself, value yourself. Be gentle with yourself.
You’ve gained more ground than you think. If you’re like me, you’re COMPLETELY different than you did this time last year, and that in and of itself is more than enough to celebrate.
Chile, your girl was on the struggle bus a year ago. I put on a brave face but, honey! Depression was eating me alive. I was so lonely, working a job that was not fulfilling and struggling in a relationship that was sucking the life out of me. This year, I’m surrounded by people who genuinely love me, I’m living out my dreams -- even though they scare me some days -- and I’m choosing peace.
Even though things aren’t where I want them to be, and I still feel behind some days, and still feel like things aren’t moving fast enough lots of days, I have been heavy on reminding myself of that at least I’m not where I was. You should too. Even when you feel like nothing is happening, trust the stillness. Things are unfolding. **Romans 8:28**